"Helicopter" Parents Shocked!

College planning can be both an economic and emotional shock. Parent's have heard about economic sacrifice. They really had no idea. First they find out that financial aid for the most part is government propaganda. . . mostly loans making college more expensive. The government decides how much a family is expected to pay for college. This is called EFC. A family of four making around $100,000 a year would have an EFC of about $21,000. If a family doesn't have $21,000 floating around loans are available so both the parent and student's debt grows each year. Don Betterton Director of Financial Aid and Admissions at Princeton for many years said, "that EFC is only the first step in getting to what really matters . . . the family's actual yearly payment to the college. Unfortunately, the actual payment can easily vary by thousands of dollars from the EFC. And to make matters worse, the out-of-pocket expense is almost always higher."

The tremendous financial burden of college can be very emotional and quickly turn to hysteria once parent's become aware of the fact that they have no control. In high school is was easy to follow a student's progress, college is just the opposite. Those attempting are usually labeled "helicopter parents." Colleges do not have to be cooperative because they have the law on their side. Students are legally considered adults at age 18 and college administrators say federal and state privacy laws generally prohibit them for sharing student information.

In 1974 Congress passed the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act or Ferpa. This anti-family law eliminated parent's rights to know about their student's education record which includes grades, transcripts and reports of disciplinary action and campus violations. The law does allow colleges to break confidentiality in case of a "health and safety emergency" and if there is a drug or alcohol violation.

Colleges can choose to share information with parents who claim students as a dependent on their tax returns which is common. Sounds reasonable! Most colleges however don't see it that way. Colleges tell parents that they are not required to share information because it is the philosophy that college is a place for young people to become independent.

The best way a family can handle the shock value of starting college is to plan ahead.

- Investigate the Money Merge Account program if you currently have a first mortgage

You can find that "Magic $100,000" for college without refinancing, increasing monthly payments, altering your current cash flow or taking out a college loan.

- Explore colleges and ask questions that are important to you. If confidentiality is crucial then research the policy of the college.

- Discuss confidentiality with your student and reach a family decision on whether to grant the college written permission to share information.

- If the college does not offer a waiver form, help your student draft a letter to sign.